V- Autobiography

The philosophy section contains 8 poems.

1. Autobiography

Almighty God, my Creator,

I thank Thee for Thy favours

for in my dotage I have no cure for grief

but such gratitude to Thee.

A hundred thanks that I have no work

but to compose these pious and devotional poems.

Help me not to sow in my heart

any seed but that of Thy good pleasure.

Thou knowest the secret of all souls

and that my hart ails within me

that here in Yamgan I am alone

weak, abandoned and afflicted.

The world venerates a happy drunkard, but I

a teetotaller, am sad and despised.

In fear of my oppressors I am helpless

and hide within my mountainous fort

condemned by them as a sinner

for my love of Thy Messenger;

in love of him and his Household

I remain in misery and trouble.

On the Day of Reckoning judge between me

and that herd of stray cows

with which I can never wander -

for I am not a donkey.

Even though for my sweet and virtuous words

I deserve to be compared

with the delicious fruit of the datepalm

the blind eyes of the rabble

see me as a despicable thorn.

O my God, I take refuge with Thee

from this herd of ravenous wolves.

I dare not be your friend

O friend of the Grape,

the harp and the jug,

for I do not love, I do not share your taste

for these three evil companions.

Drunkards need drunkards - why do you

quarrel with me because I am sober?

Go, follow your own caravan, for I

am not of your breed of camel.

Ride forth and seek the world, leave me

to canter on the steed of Reason.

You may be a king, but I

have the precious pearl of my words;

you may rule the realm of Balkh, but I

am a monarch in my own domain.

I shall never accept the burden of your rule

just for an ass-portion of hay.

My inner and outer natures are equally manifest:

sometimes I am soft, sometimes

sharp as a thorn - yes, to the ignorant and unwise

sharp as brambles; to the wise

soft and forbearing. I do not want you

any more than you want me.

I am unacquainted with perfidy: my warp and weft

are of the same thread.

If you re ready to apologise

I m ready to forgive and forget.

My tongue is clean of obscenity,

my trousers unstained by fornication;

I pay no attention to evil and cunning,

I do not churn the cream of falsehood.

I do not need to boast of my virtues -

others will point them out

while I, living as I do,

discharge my duties towards the virtuous.

In my past, I slept in ignorance

and the world seized me in its talons,

plundered me while it embraced me

and coo d in my ear.

One moment it promised the harvests of Autumn,

next the green pains of Spring,

and seeing that I was an easy prey to love

perfumed my face with roses and musk.

Today you see me enfeebled and bent

but in those times you would have thought me

straight as a pine. Ah, the stars

tugged gently at my bridle

like a camel to pasture. Robust and happy . . .

and today I tremble and lament,

my ruby red cheeks gone bilious

my jetblack hair grown white as a milk.

I drank so much wine those days

I m still breathing out fumes!

But when I learned the ways of the world

I grew grey and downcast;

I awoke from my slumber . . . .no -

it was my Lord Who woke me.

I soon polished the intelligence-rust

from my eyes, blew the mist from my brain,

washed the dust of wantonnes

from my face and cheeks,

uprooted the tree of ignorance and aberration

from my riverbank garden.

Many the battle I fought with the world

till I was saved,

till I became the chosen one of the

Imam of the Time

(since I had chosen faith and devotion

for myself).

Now, ask me a difficult question

and I will not scratch my head;

my ear is sharp, for knowledge

hangs from it like a ear-ring;

my eye is clear because I have gazed

on Truth and Certainty.

I will no more be prey in the hunt

of the falcons and panthers of this world.

In the old days I boasted of my ancestors

but today my ancestors, and indeed

all the world s inhabitants, boast of me.

Then I was worth no more

than a chamber-pot - today

I am gold.

You don t believe me?

Try it yourself

and test the worth of my poem -

read it and memorise it!

2. A Warning to Missionaries

Seeking wisdom? Imitate the wise

who know how to make things easy for themselves:

their conversation, their economy is geared

to those same laws which the elements obey today,

the elements of the Cosmos, harmonised

with spheres and stars, and by their powers

moulded into to living things. The stars are fingers

which the artisan spheres use to animate

the unborn earth - hands of Heaven

which as willing slaves run errands

for galactic lords - eyes of the universe

who cast a glance at earth and spark to life

delicate corals and pearls. Behold the Throne,

the bearers of the Throne, and how they turn

rotating constantly; your Throne is Earth

and round it in celestial minuet

the stars in orbit dance. King of beasts

and green things are you and to your order

all life in obedience revolves,

genuflecting, prostrating to their lord.

Study their ways and do likewise. Contemplate

the creaturely signs of Truth and learn

the meaning of their allusions to the Divine.

Habituate yourself to benevolence

towards those beneath you, that in time

superior forces will treat well of you.

All moral creatures are as if intoxicated

with the wine of ignorance; you who are sober

take heed and follow a different path.

Meat is hung in salt to keep it fresh

but when the salt itself goes bad, what can be done?

Speak not to fools of holy truths

or the Household of the Prophet, for fools

are like sterile rain, like owls who flee

the City of Knowledge for their ruined haunts.

From pulpit-steps they sermonise the rabble

whetting appetites with talk of paradise

and its mountains of food. Go if you dare,

speak eloquently to such as these of Ali

if you do not fear my fate, to be enchained

in the mountains of Yamgan. Of course they crey

and clamour in hope of heavenly victuals! When

you mention barely, do not the asses bray?

Take care not to tell them their paradise

is no place of banquets and coition, lest in rage

they slay you with arrows of their eyes.

Take refuge in the Citadel of the Household

that its inhabitants may scatter on your head

pearls from the treasury of their holy sire.

Proofs of the Hands of Mercy, Imams of the Time,

when they desire Qu ranic hermeneutics

stretch their hands to Saturn. They weigh

in their scales your science and religion

for only the undiscerning do the work of faith

without the BALANCE. True religion is Man,

its spirit gnosis, its body right action -

this is the founding stone on which is raised

the roof of Sages. Do not disdain to act

simply because the philosophers have called

work the punishment of the weak. No,

the multitude are in error - do not follow

their path, lest you fall in the same way.

Drunkards are many; be silent and let them pass.

When have you ever seen a horde of sots

obey a sober man?

3. Dissimulation

Weak as we are - and alone - and dangerous the way -

how can we tread the Prophet s path?

If the road is plagued by day with highwaymen

my son, perhaps we d do better to travel by night,

hidden like stars against the noontide from all eyes

but after sunset, vigilant guides, awake;

corporeally concealed from the ignorant but

to the wise openly visible as sunlight.

Physically all are equal: rank depends on intellect,

dignity on wisdom alone. Again, everyone speaks,

but some speak with knowledge, others not -

judge the speech and you have judged the man:

I and thou in silence are but paintings on a wall.

The Cosmos to its Lord is a garden in which we

are so many trees; come, judge this harvest-tide:

which of us drops the more succulent fruit?

But cease your wrangling - strife such as you concoct

long since exiled me from home. Muhuammad and Ali

are surely supreme amongst all men - should we

not honour them more than any So-and-So?

God s treasures, they reveal His Mysteries

to us, the People of Secrets, Companions of the Cave

(not just any hole in the ground, but the Cavern

of True Religion), pure hearts, friends of the Messenger.

Our portion is wheat - yours but chaff;

never believe we share your bovine taste for straw.

The wine of religion goes to your head; we,

who remain sober, find no satisfaction

in your company; yet day and night we work

for your salvation, knowing that in your madness

you have flung yourself to perdition. We know,

we understand that you are drunk and foolish;

we turn the other cheek; we know that you

cannot abide our words of wisdom;

in your presence we nail shut our mouths.

You could seek from us the cure

for snakebite - but you fancy us the snakes?

What is the purpose of the intellect with which

we sometimes turn to sin, sometimes to the

worship of God? Why should He bid us Do good,

shun evil if we had not been endowed

with free will? The ravenous wolf is not held

responsible for his acts - but we are. Why?

Why blame man for spouting noise, but not

condemn the pickaxe for its thwack! Thwack! ?

Why are you and I weighed down with such tasks

as prayer, but not the deer or the game-birds?

What is the one thing God gave us which makes us

lords over the beasts of the field? Intellect!

And the same faculty which sets us higher

than a donkey, makes us the slaves of the Almighty.

With it may investigate all hows and whys,

without it we are no more than tress without fruit.

It will tell us why we should - for example -

fast all day from morning to night in Ramadan.

If God knows we are murderers and tyrants

why doesn t He simply wipe us all out at once?

He commands us not to sin - and we sin;

does that make us omnipotent ? On the other hand

if we sin only because He wills us to sin,

why should we be blamed? Untie this Gordian knot

and I ll offer you my humblest respect!

But if problems like this scare you, away with you!

Because WE dare to search for answers.

With glowing hearts we raise to the skies

the complex, gold-leafed palace of our thought;

we are warriors, Quranic and Shariite, Partisans

of Ali, the warrior-knight. Invalids

find the taste of sugar disgusting - no wonder

you think us unbelievers. Five hundred snakes,

a thousand ants, ranged against one MAN

scarcely constitutes a threat. Is it

any marvel we ve never reckoned you an army?

4. The Decline of Khorasan

Let us closely observe

what the devil s happening tot he world -

how Virtue and Rectitude seem

to have flown - not that the fleeting world

itself has changed its nature

but that people s temperaments have undergone

some transformation.

Your body

in the Child of Nature, babe of the Spheres,

its state forever shifting under Heaven -

one can only imagine therefore that you

- who were so subtle - have fallen

into such a carnal and inferior state

because the spheres themselves have somehow

gone awry.

Humanity (by way of simile)

was like an ALEEF

Arabic alphabet -ALEEF- placed here

Erect and straight -

how could the letter of humankind

have been itself to the hump

Arabic alphabet - NUN - placed here

Of a NUN?

Virtue and learning have become the slaves of Bread

the dough of knowledge cut with fraud and deceit.

Piety and justice are broken pots and pebbles,

ignorance and stupidity taken for gold and the precious Pearl.

You!

Chameleon World!

Woe to him

who falls for your seductive routines -

he who cannot see the way round you

with the candle of REASON

trips and falls. There s nothing left

for you here: humanity has absconded

from the last human being.

All deeds are but cruelty, con and cant

all words but fraud, perfidy and crime.

I swear one would scarcely know the difference

if the world had already fallen to the rule

of all the devils of the Inferno.

Stupidity has reared itself into the heavens,

humanity and nobility hidden themselves in some cave.

The sirocco of petty meanness blows hot across earth,

everything good wilts and decays.

As for the province of Khorasan, once

the Abode of Learning, it has become

a cavern of sordid and effeminate demons.

Balkh!

The House of Wisdom -

And now

fit for the axe, its fortune topsyturvy

turned upon its head. Khorasan

once the kingdom of Solomon - how

has it become the domain of Satan?

One might think the land had become a maw

which gobbled Religion, or that Religion

in Khorasan has become the companion of Qarun

(that miser whom earth swallowed

with all his wealth). Aye, Khorasan

serves a fit example for the house

of the sinister Qarun.

Tatars

were their slaves, but they have become

the Tartars valet - is not the star

of Khorasan afflicted by some evil conjunction?

The Kipchak lout has proclaimed himself

a nobleman, while the Duke has become

the Tartar s girlfriend s butler.

The talentless have made themselves the Emirs

virtue shrinks and mediocrity swells itself.

You

may mortgage your soul

But I

shall not pawn myself to the world;

you may trust the wolf, but the wise

will keep his distance.

Your miserable mind

has become a fetid slime in a corpse

of ignorance, tyranny and evil;

in your greed you prefer the wicked Zahhak

to Feraydun the Just. So much the slave

of desire: my hart chokes with bood

in pity of you who sold yourself

like 100,000 others for a taste of lust.

Try to reform yourself. Think of great men

like Aaron the Alexandrian. Aaron

was made Aaron by knowledge. Garments

are cleaned with soap; wisdom

is the best detergent for the Spirit.

He who makes wisdom his prop

is saved from the fire of ignorance.

Listen

my son

to a father s advice

for my own days have been made auspicious

because I heeded helpful words

and my subtle spirit soars above the spheres

through knowledge

even

If my body

lies chained

imprisoned

beneath the earth.

5. In Yamgan

You cannot - O wiseman -

on the Worldtree

see other fruit than

the man of Wisdom;

to a gnostic like you

the sage is a plum

and the ignorant

are thorns

- the good are hidden

among the bad

as a lonely datepalm

in a desert of brambles.

But you object: Nasir!

If you re such a noble spirit

why do you vegetate here in Yamgan

lowly and alone?

For me Yamgan

is God s refuge.

Look well! Don t imagine me

some sort of prisoner.

No one claims

that silver, diamonds, rubies

are base or held captive

in the mine;

Yamgan itself may be

base and worthless

but here I am held

in high esteem.

After all if the serpent

is abject and vile

the snakestone in its head

is treasured and praised

and a perfect pearl s worth

is none the less to the buyer

for having been born

in a scabby shell;

the fragrant bloom

is unstained

even if it roots itself

in furrows of dung.

And you, my visitor

- to return to my first simile -

are a sublime tree

whose fruit is speech.

It s up to you: choose

whether to be fruit without thorns

(choose now!)

Or thorns without fruit.

The apple of wisdom

can be yours -

otherwise you re are nothing but

a sterile poplar -

for the wiseman s branches

yield a produce

of precious gems

and leaves of gold dinars;

but knowledge and wisdom

are better than gold and gems

to him whose heart is illumined,

eyes open and awake.

Then come,

speak,

pour down your

yield of words

and as much as this fruit

is rich and sweet

so will your deeds be judged

as virtuous as your talk -

but if you re a man of

words without action

you re no better than

counterfeit coin.

Utter the right word

in the right place -

a fine stallion s at its best

in the battlefield

- and utter it only

to one who knows its worth,

for what use is turban

without a head to wear it?

Only the heat of battle

can tell

a coward deserter

from a fierce brave.

Know what you want to say

then say it:

fix the compass point

before drawing the line.

If your words are not free

of stain and rust

how will they polish

the hearts of others?

Keep silence

when you do not know:

don t be the type who flashes

his genitalia in the bazzar!

How dare you ride an ass

before noble arab steeds?

You re roped

in ignorance s bonds

led astray by demons -

you deny it?

Why then have you bulled

through the rosebed?

You? A doctor of souls???

Never!

How can one sick man

treat another?

Please - don t rasp my soul

like some wretched file

with words like

jagged bits of steel.

Are you not ashamed

of your ignorance?

Do you not blush

before true learning?

Bow your head,

submit - or else

on the Final Day you will not snatch

your soul from the bonfire.

Mortify your flesh

with pious deeds

that tomorrow your soul

may go un-singed.

You claim to be

free of guilt - what!

When your back s bent double

with burden of sin!

If future bliss

is what you want

cease now to work so hard

for the world -

for the world

couldn t care less.

Don t let it agonise you

with fleshly cares:

it s an evil-tempered leviathan;

beware!

Furious, merciless

greedy.

How often do you need

to try and taste again -

it s the same world you ve seen

a hundred times before.

Hold fast to Faith;

religion conquers the world

and sews up its maw

with spikes.

If you become

a prince in religion

the surely the world

must become your slave.

You! Look well

into your own affairs:

if you want justice

do justice.

If you want

to be upright

don t bow your neck to earthly kings

as the hoopoe to Solomon.

Shun the eagle of Greed

for its beak

and vicious claws drip

with venom

and if you d like

avoid a quarrelling with dogs

give up your taste

for carrion meat;

otherwise - admit it -

your aching face, weary hands:

the cause of suffering

is yourself.

Take this advice from the PROOF

for he is awake

to the habits of this tyrant,

the revolving sphere.

Of all the people in Khorasan

no one has battled

as much as he with the

vicissitudes of Fate

and was saved at last

from the claws through Faith,

the decree of God

the One, the Almighty.

If the world causes you pain

follow in his wake.

Other than this there is no

better Way.

6. Retirement

Have I changed? Or is it the world that s changed?

I think it must be me; the world seems the same as ever.

It would bound away when I used to chase after it

but now things are different - it s me who turns away;

or perhaps we ve both changed: I have become

more like the world and the world more like me.

I used to be precious ore in its mine, but now

I myself am a mine of golden speech in the rational soul.

What could have happened to everyone, that they seem

so severely frightened just at the mention of my name?

I never spilled the cup of anyone s reputation

or snatched bread from a hand by force;

I never worried any young men into greybeards

so why am I so hated by young men and old alike?

I never asked for sermons to be read in my name

neither in Kashgar nor in Baghdad - so why

do the Ruler and the Emir now revile and abuse me?

I feel no greed for blood or carrion. I wonder

why so many dogs have become my enemies?

I won t write any eulogies for you, Emir,

so don t send me any dinner invitations;

if you do invite me, I won t call you Emir

and if I do praise you, please don t call me

a human being! The Creator of heart and soul

has set the Book of Freedom in a secret place

in my breast; slavery s chains has been struck

from my ankles - that s why I never bow down my head.

Before I received this boon, I was a slave to anyone

and suffered a great deal of pain in this world,

much as I kicked against it. You who know it not

can run after it - I who know it,

know too much. Unless you toss him out with a

sound beating, the born rascal will never

become obedient - that s why I drive away from my door

the rapscallion world. O seeker of that world

don t bother to seek me out as if I were (like you)

lost on the way. As hastily as you dash

after the world I run horrorstruck from its gates.

Your autumn winds do not agree with my sighs of sorrow -

unlike you I do not praise the sad season s beauties.

The world s kiss moistens your lips but

dries my mouth with terror. By day Repentance

is my bosom companion, by night the Quran

my confidante. O you who reel in hilarity

around the wine-jug, I do not circumambulate

the amphora nor stagger upon a drunk s pilgrimage;

I am intoxicated with pain and sorrow by the blood of Husayn -

how can the vine s blood make me gleeful again?

My hand and tongue do not imitate your deeds;

my subtle soul is saved even though dense

and heavy under the burden of Time. Sages see

my angelic essence, even if to your eyes I am still

merely human. My body s the banner of angels

even if hidden in Yamgan from devil s spite.

If the whole kingdom of Solomon couldn t wipe out

a single demon, what can I do against a horde?

I am a shepherd hired by the Moses of Time,

to a flock which grazes on knowledge in the dark night

of the world. No shepherd is without crook or bowl -

my bowl is the Book, my staff my tongue.

Come to me and eat the bread of Divine Law

softened in the milk of my eloquence. O you

who think me ugly, I am ugly; if you are beautiful

then beautiful too is my face. Learn wisdom

and you will find me wise; become a jewelled sword

and I will be your whetstone. The hand of the Lord,

the Imam of the Time, has sown the seed of humanity

in my speech. Come, climb my tree, and I will seat you

on humanity s branch. I am flowing water

to freshen the tillage of Wisdom in religion s fields

by my speech, to wash away demon dust

with counsel precious as pearl; I am vigilant,

tempered spearhead pointed always towards

the devil, who can never disgrace me. Speech

is my arrow head, my pen is the arrow, my fingers the bow.

If my enemy comes from the East I will easily

slay him with my speeding shafts.

7. The Exile s Lament

Pass by, food of his heart, sweet breeze of Khorasan

Here to a dim prison in the vale of Yamgan

Where he sits narrowed by poverty, comfortless, cold,

His fortune gone, possessions lost, landless and old.

Unjust Fate has stripped from his soul in its tyranny

All repose, and from his body all luxury;

He knows more sorrows than a pomergranate has seeds,

His limbs possess less power than the winter reeds;

That elegant frame, that once too-handsome face

Have decayed now to ugliness, distraction and disgrace -

That face, once luminous as Spring anemones,

Now withered like autumn leaves in exile s miseries.

His kinsmen turn their back on him and cut him dead;

No sustenance now but God s mercy, the Divine bread.

I committed no sin but somehow the Turk

the Arab, the Iraqi and the Khorasani all alike

have been my foes. Always looking for some pretext

to hate me, calling me unorthodox , an enemy

of the Companions. What can I say to this army

of demons? God has not given me Solomon s

magic spell. They come from far away

barking and howling like dogs in the barn.

A million like them still wouldn t bother me,

for on Judgement Day . . . Thou knowest, O Lord,

Thou knowest well! But still it s only reasonable

to take certain precautions against demons -

even the greatest and most eloquent sage,

attacked by desert ghouls, wouldn t be able

to talk his way out! The ignoramus

recognises no proof - there s no point reciting

the Quran to a calf. The wiseman wastes no words

on a horde of idiots - who would season

coarse barley bread with expensive spices?

They call me unorhodox - bah! - what do they know

of Islam except the name? O you who wear

upon your head the hat of false claims and hide

your soul beneath the garments of stupidity,

tell me: to whom should one pay allegiance

after Muhammad? - and how do you prove your claims?

After whose mule are you driving your crippled ass?

Whose silk brocades are you boasting about when you

yourself are still dressed in tatters and dirty rags?

After all, isn t it better to have a clean and simple

linen shirt for yourself, than for your uncle

to go about decked out in all the latest fashions?

The virtues of friends (if they exist) will

avail you naught on that morrow when the

HIDDEN POWER is revealed. Anyway, your patrons

seem not to have seen fit to bestow upon you

any of that virtue and excellence of theirs -

why, if they are such a renowned ascetics, do you

lead the life and display the character of an imp?

Yes, you look like a stick-up man or a mugger to me -

so where s your take? You know - the booty?

All day you fast and moan and twiddle your beads -

come nightfall you re down at the tavern,

jiving and enjoying a glass of sweet wine. Ah,

you ve memorised the Book of Con - that s why

(no doubt) you ve been appointed Grand Mufti

of Balkh, Nishapur and Herat. Your words

are heavy with fruit as a date palm, but

when it comes to action, your thorns appear.

I hate your master the devil, that s all

I have to say, I have turned my face away

to the door of the Prophet s Household, where

I expect the blessings of the Two Worlds.

I may be exiled, far away from the family and hearth,

but I ve gained the wisdom of Luqman.

I ve tattoo d the name of Mustansir on my

breast and forehead - that king whom Caesar

would humbly thank for a job as doorman.

The stone of his stoop is more precious

than Badakshan rubies, just as the sky

is higher than dusty earth. In is courtyard

the sons of Emirs and Vaziers from Tehran, and

people of all clans and tribes are waiting to serve

just as their ancestors came before them.

O Imam, in whose noble essence God s purpose

in making the world has been fulfilled,

know that to me, the slave of devotion,

the flinty stones of Yamgan valley are worth

more than the pearls of the Gulf.

When you have bestowed upon me all Eternity

why should I bother with this insipid world?

8. Letter from an Acquaintance

Fifty years in Yamgan . . . why am I in jail?

Two sets of chains: Reason for my spirit,

and devil s shackles for my body. No wonder

the demons don t obey me: am I Solomon?

In fact I am more like Salman.

My words shine like the sun, even if

you haven t seen me in the flesh

for . . . how many years? Your heart:

a moon to the wisdom of my

pearl-scattering sun. Yamgan:

the gold-mine of knowledge and sagacity

(aren t I buried in Yamgan?)

I ve changed a lot since we met -

at least that part of that s

bound to the material realm. But

I have not turned away from the

Path of Faith. For unlike my flesh

my spirit soars. You write

Why don t you leave, come back?

Don t you realise -I m escaping

from demos? Don t blame me!

Don t aks me to make my home

amongst asses and cows - you know

I m not a herdsman. Comedians!

What do you have in common with

comics and their audiences? I m not

interested in laughing or cracking jokes.

Yesterday I laughed; today I weep.

Fools laugh; wisdom s got me by

the neck. Fools eat and enjoy themselves;

je regret, je regret . . . .all that.

The pink tulips of cheeks have

rotted like straw; if I thrash my wheat

with your breezes, I ll have nothing

tomorrow but a bag of wind.

Why has God made me this way?

Yesterday I was a rolling stone;

today I m a moss-grown ruin.

Yesterday tuxedo and tails

today rags. If I leave my hovel

whee should I go. I fear -

or rather I don t fear - I ll never

leave; I will stick to present evil.

I could try to hang on to the world

by the skin of my teeth - but

they d soon have my teeth out

by the roots. No, now that I

am aware of this secret I shall

rise and brush the mould

off my lapels. Before they come to

cart me away, I ll read over

the record once agin. Tomorrow

they ll strip me bare - why should I

bother to conceal anything today?

Repentance turns evil to good

- do God promise us in the Book -

I shall stick to good and stay away

from what doesn t concern me.

Do unto other . . . . that s what it means

to be a Muslim. If I am the servant

of the All-merciful, shouldn t I follow

His Messenger? At least I m

sensible enough to not to think that

two opposites can both be true.

Once again, off again . . .that s a

drunkard s act. I d never expect

you to summons me to join

the inebriates - and if anyone

does call me . . .sorry. No. I ll stay.